Don't Let Grief Control You

So, the victory that day was turned into mourning for all the people. For the people heard it said that day, “The king is grieved for his son.” And the people stole back into the city that day, as people who are ashamed steal away when they flee in battle. 2 Samuel 19:2-3 (NKJV)

David's mourning for his son is getting excessive and affecting his troops who fought for him. Instead of being able to celebrate the victory and a united country, they flee to their tents like defeated soldiers. Joab, who sees what David's excessive mourning is doing to the country, tells David that his actions are demoralizing the people of Isreal and is an insult to those who had fought for him. Knowing that he is tearing the country apart, he stops mourning publicly, rises and acts as a king, and shows the gratitude that his troops deserve.

Like David, grief is part of healing, but too much grief can do damage to oneself and the people around you. Satan uses our grief as a tool to cause misery and despair, which is uncontrolled grief. It can cause severe physical, emotional, and social dysfunction, leading to depression, anxiety, and intense distress. Your grief can strain relationships, cause emotional exhaustion in others, and can alter the family structure. We can bring our grief to God because He understands pain and will bring us through it. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 says, "Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God." Moving on from grief does not mean you will not have pain or a sense of loss. It means that you will not let your pain and loss control your life.

Choose to go to God first in times of grief. It is ok to ask God why? He is a great God, and he can take all your burdens. Accept that grief is part of the life that we are in now and know that all sorrow will be taken away once we are in heaven with God. Mourn your losses but choose to not let your grief control you. Talk to your family, your friends, or your pastor about your grief. Communication is one of the best ways of dealing with grief. If your grief is out of control, don't be afraid to go to a Christian counselor. We all need various levels of help so that our grief does not control us.